Potentialism - People Passion Performance

Getting a Life Insight #1 - Relationship Success

2011-05-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

Four Simple Steps toward Developing Powerful Relationships

Relationship

Quality Time

Trust

Partnership

The power of this model sits at the quality time level...so it is difficult; in fact, well nigh impossible to develop trust with someone if there is no quality time spent in the relationship.

Here is a powerful exercise that reinforces the model above...Think of all of your closet friends and realise how much quality time you invest into those relationships and then think of all the relationships and friendships that you have had over time that have petered out due to the two people involved in the relationship growing apart a result of little quality time being invested in each other.

Benefits:

• Develops a proactive mind and SEPA.
• Allows you to control situations more effectively.
• You become more decisive and clear about your objectives.

Doing Different Stuff

2010-08-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

Recently I was made aware of how regimented our lives can become especially around our day to day existence.
Solution...to challenge myself and commit to "doing different stuff" on a daily basis with the the only rule being that the behaviour or the experience must conform to two fundamental guidelines:

All experiences should be dedicated to boosting your self-esteem and the self esteem of others.

Each experience should stretch you into another realm of experience that you normally may not have considered (e.g. telling someone something that previously you would have avoided or ignored, discovering a new skill or interest.

The concept is simple, I will list things that I do differently and if anyone wants to add their unique insight, well of course you are most welcome...have fun and live life!

Began using Doncaster park and drive to reduce my carbon footprint and save money.

Subscribed to ebooks with my iPhone and part way through Robinson Crusoe.

Common Sense is Now Not Common!

2009-09-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

An Obituary printed in the London Times........ Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, "Common Sense", who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; school playgrounds dismantled due to safety concerns, teens suspended from school for being around trouble makers yet not actually making trouble, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Nice People - Is not what the world needs now!

2009-08-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

Nice people is not what the world really needs right now!

I realise that is an unusual thing to say however recently after enrolling in a 16 month Leadership program run by Integrity and Values I was given an insight into the concept of "Nice" and how much it costs us in terms of relationships and career opportunities.

Another meaning to the word "Nice" as it was explained to me is as follows:

Nothing
In me
Cares
Enough (to tell you the truth)

What this is in fact saying is that if you really care about someone you actually owe it to them to tell them the truth about behaviours and paradigms that may be working against them as long as you understand how to deliver the message respectfully and honestly.
I remember Jack Welch (former CEO of General Electric) saying that the most common frustration of his in business was the fact that very few leaders actually give honest assessments of their team members during performance appraisal sessions and generally play the "nice" card which makes little difference to the daily performance of the person yet may have a significant impact on their future career aspirations.
Take an example of someone who reguarly repeats what they say so that the information becomes boring and annoying as well as repetitive. It can be difficult to tell someone that this is the case when they talk to you yet (if you care enough about them) without telling them about this how many people may they annoy and alienate in their life and business pursuits.

I often ask people to describe how "nice" people behave and almost without exception they are described as non confrontational and less than honest about revealing their true feelings and opinions.

With respect to the skills of emotional intelligence (EI) the first pre requisite is to be able to understand your own emotions and then manage them so having trusted people around you who will tell you the unadulterated truth in a respectful way is actually what the world really needs now!